It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
