tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
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