That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i think i just lost a toe
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