Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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