i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i now understand why vodka
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
