I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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