no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
