He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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