Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
