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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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