Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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