we have pet lesbian snakes
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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