i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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