she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
