Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
