I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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