he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
