so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Panties = found
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