we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
