Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
thus making me awesome and them whores
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
