If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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