Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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