How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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