"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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