my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
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