you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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