That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm too high and old for this...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Pooping to opera.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
