i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
