Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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