How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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