This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Randomize
