Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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