just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
