Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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