It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she told me i tasted like america
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
