Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
