you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
