I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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