jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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