I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
