Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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