everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
