Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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