my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
