I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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