Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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