i don't want you to think of me as your TA
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
