i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dude i'm inner monologue high
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
