I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
