the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize