Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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