A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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