you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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