and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
