I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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