nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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