she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
