very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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