Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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