are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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