We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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